The Job

Madame X's lifestyle and proclivities often brought her into contact with money and power. She never seemed much bothered about those things herself, but she was drawn to people who possessed them.

Or maybe they were drawn to her.

Either way, she never seemed to have much need for money because she was usually surrounded by people who had both wealth and a strong desire to impress her. 

The only ones who ever actually did impress her, though, occupied a strangely specific type: wherever you found the cross-section of art, wealth, and crime, there you would find Madame X, winking back at you.

And it was within this Venn Diagram that Madame X found the only real job she would ever hold. It lasted five years and ended in utter disaster for everyone involved.

Well, everyone except for Madame X, of course.

This strange subset of men and women had very specific needs. Take, for example, Claudius Augustine St. Perro, the notorious art forger. He often needed to transport, exchange, or store large amounts of cash, forged paintings he was passing off as real, and actual old masters paintings he was illicitly selling.

All of his clients, suppliers, and brokers-- nearly 100 people all told-- had the exact same needs that Claudius did. Further, they needed a place where they could privately conduct business, where no one would be looking too closely into what they were up to.

Enter Madame X. She was to manage the secret island resort this group co-owned. Her duties included renovating and upgrading the resort, entertaining important guests, and managing the books.

The market for stolen paintings was lucrative, but narrow. Typically, the same paintings got tossed around the same group of powerful old families over and over. Since they were collecting them for value rather than pleasure, the families figured they could save money on transportation and reduce the risk of being caught by simply keeping the paintings in the neutral-territory vault on the island. While Madame X spent most of her time doing as she pleased, her most important duty was keeping a record of who owned which paintings and how much they had sold for.

To her credit, the island was an absolute paradise while she was running the show. The once modest resort grew into one of the the most exclusive luxury vacation spots in the world. 

Eventually, the 73 year old Claudius St. Perro decided to retire from the art forgery business and spend his days pursuing the only thing he ever really gave a shit about: organic farming. 

To celebrate his retirement, he gathered his entire family on the island. He was amazed at how much the place had grown and changed since he had last been there. 

Being what it was, the island was also the home of one of the most spectacular art collections in the world. Claudius had no interest but his family begged to see it. Capitulating to their desires, he approached Madame X and requested to be taken into the vaults.

“Well,” she said, avoiding eye contact, “there's a little bit of a problem. You see, the first year I was here, there was this awful hurricane and it really did a number on the place. The vaults were destroyed. Everything in them was lost.”

Claudius Augustine St. Perro, feeling faint, needed to sit down. Visions of organic cucumbers and prize-winning pumpkins dissolved before his eyes.

“The good news, though,” Madame X said brightly, “is that the book-keeping is perfect.”